So this is my very first ever blog post. To be honest, this blank page staring back at me is extremely daunting, given the fact that I have never been very good with words. So I will start by telling you my reason for starting this blog.
My Mom passed away on October 18th, 2014 of a heart attack. She had celebrated her 64th birthday three weeks before. She had always struggled with her health, suffering from chronic depression, high blood pressure and Diabetes for most of her life. Her passing was still very sudden though, as she had had ECG's done on numerous occasions, all with normal results.
Since that day, I have learned that grief is very complicated. I have felt extremely lost and alone. I decided to start this blog not only for myself, but in the hope that it might somehow help anyone else going through the same thing.
I am certainly not what is considered to be a "good" writer. My heart is a complete mess of millions of feelings that my brain can never seem to adequately put into words. I feel things very, very deeply. For that reason, a lot of this blog might not make total sense, it is purely me just pouring out my feelings.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone (as cliche as that sounds, it is true) and there is no normal or logic when it comes to grieving. Everybody grieves in their own way. Being the kind of person that tries to find explanations for everything, I have tried so hard to make sense of it all. But I feel I'm reaching a point where I can accept that it just doesn't make sense. And that is okay. I hate to think of grieving as a process, because a process has an ending. Grieving never ends. We can only learn to better deal with the feelings of grief as time goes on. I can only hope this blog might help me with that. I hope it helps you too.
Love,
Zanshine
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